Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
