I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
