He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize