my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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