Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
