I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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