she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
