I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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