My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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