I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
