It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
