i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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