Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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