remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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