"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
