marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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