Got a toothbrush?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so let's talk penis.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
