Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize