Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
two words...techno handjob
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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