if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just had sex on a roof
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
