What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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