had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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