dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
