My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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