everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
