spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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