Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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