Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
