You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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