Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She's JV to your varsity
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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