According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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