It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
