oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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