she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
