everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
