that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
