I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
