it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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