I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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