don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
