Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
