Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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