Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
