the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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