Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
