Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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