Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
