i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
