I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you had me at cake vodka
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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