Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
