Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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