margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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