Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
