My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
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