the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
