i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
