I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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