Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
