It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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