If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
