I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
