First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
