Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
