Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ineedpenis hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!

Fav 22 1591 3370
share tweet
(951): View more from California

There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.

Fav 63 7099 1044
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

Fav 27 7011 940
share tweet
(240): View more from Maryland

We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

Fav 56 16893 1911
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid

Fav 5 1073 2926
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt

Fav 27 3039 1838
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

Fav 4 3453 1013
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...

Fav 3 768 1098
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.

Fav 2 412 238
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT