And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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