so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
smell my finger.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
