i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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