im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
