Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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