let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
